What we need more than action.

more than action | kourtney thomas life coach

It’s really important to me to be consistent in this space.

If I do nothing else for the entire week, it’s a priority for me to write this blog. You might imagine my dismay, then, on the weeks when I open up a Word doc only to sit staring at a blank page for twenty minutes…for three or four days in a row.

I want to be helpful. Insightful. Useful. I want to be a bright spot. Make you think. Maybe make you feel. And I don’t take any of that lightly. There’s a lot of pressure to “put out quality content” for your “audience.” As if they aren’t real people capable of interpreting substance, sales, or fluff.

But I also want to be regular, relevant, and top-of-mind. There’s a lot of pressure for all those things too. As if folks aren’t capable of seeking what they need when they need it, or being forgiving of a little hiatus.

So, during the weeks, which are blessedly rare, when the stories aren’t coming, the ideas aren’t flowing, and I have no idea what I want to write about, I often find myself engaged in an internal struggle. Do I take a break until I feel inspired? Do I push through the writer’s block and make something happen? Do I just make a list or round up a bunch of LOLCats?

Every one of those weeks ends up differently. Sometimes, a lightning bolt of brilliance strikes at the last minute. Sometimes, I choose something broad and evergreen that I can address. Sometimes, I do corral interesting and worthwhile resources and content I think you’ll like. But sometimes, I just don’t know.

Today, I don’t know.

And today, I’m kind of glad I don’t. Because, of course, paradoxically, that means I can remind you (and myself) that sometimes, and maybe more often than not, it’s good not to know. It’s an exercise in patience, and reflection, and discernment. And so often, we need that more than we need hurry, and action, and ignorance.

Every situation calls for a different reaction or solution, and those solutions are never the same, even if the situation has come up before. But I think we’ve forgotten that one possible solution is to stop, to listen, to wait. Sometimes, it just takes the space of a moment – it doesn’t always have to be a week or a month or a year, or even a day.

Sometimes, in that moment of sitting with not knowing, the thing reveals itself.

If you happen to be in a space of not knowing, in any part of your life – first of all, know that you’re not the only one. There are a whole lot of people out there muddling and faking their knowing.

But if you find yourself now not knowing, try sitting for that one moment. If it feels uncomfortable or it doesn’t “work,” try again, this time with trust in your heart and openness in your mind. It’s true that eventually, you’ll have to do something, to make a choice, take an action, but all I’m saying is maybe not yet. Maybe the immediate jump to something is actually leading you further away from your knowing.

Just know that maybe, for now, the best choice is the not knowing. When we’re able to acknowledge the not knowing and spend time there, we’re nearly always better able to then find the knowing that we’re really looking for.

So maybe, that not knowing, that waiting, is the most helpful, insightful, useful thing you can do after all.


If you don’t know what you don’t know, trust me, I get it. Always happy to chat, and you can schedule a time below. Or, join me for weekly forays into not knowing by signing up here.

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