Do you hate trying on clothes? God, I do.
So much so, it’s rare I ever do it. In fact, sometimes I go to the mall or whatever thinking I’m going to do it because I actually need something, and by the time I get into the store and start winding through the racks, I just decide I can’t even and walk right back out.
Same goes for online ordering too. I’m pretty much fully on board with this now, thanks to my favorite stylist. But still, even at home, the act of trying on four different sizes and two different cuts and whatever else just makes me tired.
I also realize I have this whole process mostly easy. I wear straight sizes, I have a pretty average body. I can usually find stuff that fits, mostly. And yet – I still have to work at it. And, I still have to work at not feeling like it’s my fault I have to do so much work.
Ever feel that way? Like it’s your body that’s wrong, that you’re supposed to be able to fit the clothes just how they are – not the other way around?
Yep, me too.
Like, why don’t shirts that actually fit my shoulders and back and arms ever fit the rest of my body without looking like a garbage bag? Why can’t I wear button down shirts without a peep show directly into my bra because my boobs are too big? Why won’t these pants stay up over my thighs? Why are there no boots in the world that actually fit my calves?
My shoulders are too broad and my arms are too bulky for a female body.
My boobs are the wrong size.
My thighs are too wide.
My calves are too big.
I am the problem.
Just like the diet industry (#wellness) tells us we’re the problem, so does the fashion industry. We get bombarded with messages that our bodies are wrong, we’re wrong for having the bodies we do, from a hundred different angles, a hundred different ways, a hundred different times a day. And while this makes us hate shopping for clothing, it usually doesn’t really make us hate the clothes. Instead, it makes us hate ourselves, or parts of ourselves.
At the very least, trying on clothes and not finding anything that fits that we actually want to wear can just bring us down a little. Put us in a crappy mood. There’s just that low-level feeling of ugh, if I had a better/different body, I could find something so much easier, I could wear anything I wanted.
That’s some faulty if/then thinking, right there.
Because the problem here is not your body or its parts or its size. The problem is the clothes.
It’s not your fault that the vast majority of the fashion industry refuses to manufacture clothing for anyone but Gisele. That it refuses to recognize all of humanity and its beautiful diversity. It’s not your fault you have to work against decades of fat phobia and weight bias and privilege in this area.
Admittedly, it’s shitty we have to deal with this. Yet another thing that’s categorically not our fault, but lands squarely on our shoulders.
So what do we do? We deal with it differently. We don’t let it get us down. We learn some new tools to use for healthy mindset. We call attention to the matter by voting with our consumer dollars.
And we transition the stress back to the dress.
(Oh God, that’s a good one!)
This is a topic that comes up all the time in Fitness Unraveled, and one we dig into directly – with a lot of success, I might add. In fact, I just got a text last week from a woman who went through FU in the fall about this exact thing.
“I just went to an outlet mall and tried on god knows how many pants and only a few winners and I’m still shockingly upbeat. That’s a massive credit to you and FU. I’m just so happy I’m not spiraling or thinking negative about me. Now I’m just cursing the clothes. 😂”
Looks and feels a whole lot different than a shame spiral and a diet cycle, y’know?
And if that’s the kind of different feeling you want to have next time you try on a bunch of clothes, whether they work out or not, check out the course. I promise, it’ll change your whole experience. You will absolutely come away knowing that it’s not your duty to contort yourself to fit into clothes or feel bad when you don’t – it’s their job to fit you, just as you are. Curse the clothes, not yourself.