I have a single requirement for every client I work with.
During the length of our partnership, you’re not allowed to read any self-help, personal development, or business development books. Outside of that, it’s an adventure with basically no rules, but this one? Absolutely non-negotiable.
Why?
Because in my experience, folks who are checked into self-help are really checked into it. They eat it up. Consume it, are consumed by it. And paradoxically, this doesn’t usually end up all that self-helpful.
Here’s what happens (and you may have experienced this yourself):
1. You read the latest, greatest self-help or personal development or business development book (or whatever other media form you prefer to consume).
2. You LOVE IT!
3. You decide this is exactly what you need to make all the changes you want to make in your life.
4. You think about it a lot, maybe tell everyone about this life-changing book/program/TED Talk/podcast/whatever.
5. Buuuuut you don’t end up really implementing enough of what you learned to create the change you want to see.
6. A new, amazing, highly recommended, #1 best-selling, must-read self-help book comes out.
7. You read that one.
8. You LOVE IT! (Even if it’s a little contradictory to that last one…)
9. You leave that last book and all its life-changing knowledge in the dust.
10. And you repeat steps 3-5 over and over again in perpetuity.
I’m not saying reading or doing self-help stuff isn’t useful in some ways. Expanding our knowledge and thought process with new information is a great thing. And we often learn a few interesting, maybe applicable, tidbits from this kind of consumption. It’s just that when it’s all we do? The quest for knowledge begins to lose its efficiency and becomes a tool for avoiding real work. (Consider the example of the lifelong student who never actually chooses and begins working in a chosen profession.)
Believe me, I get it – everybody always wants to learn, loves to learn, should be a continual learner. Lifelong learning is valuable, indeed. And it can be incredible on its own – for me too. And in fact, it’s one of my core values. But like anything else, knowledge on its own, accumulated, unapplied, isn’t always helpful, or meaningful. It doesn’t achieve the goal. Only you can do that. With work, with action, with practice.
It’s kind of like discipleship.
So often these days, we throw ourselves at the altar of personal development. Or wellness. Or leadership training. Or self-help. We read all the latest books, follow all the gurus, devote ourselves to learning in the name of continuous improvement. We’re forever students. We learn a lot, we follow in droves, we become self-help disciples.
Except, being a disciple isn’t about being a student, learning from a teacher. Being a disciple means taking your knowledge and using it. A true disciple is an embodiment.
Which means, you can learn as much as you want about whatever type or way or style of personal or professional improvement speaks to you. But until you have the courage to take what you’ve learned and try it, apply it, practice it, work for it, you’re less a disciple and more a false prophet.
We all need something to believe in, I get that. I know that’s why we seek answers, most of the time outside ourselves. But I’ll say this every time, over and over again –
Would you rather believe in someone else, or in yourself?
A lot of my clients are self-help disciples. But they’re usually at this point of having been a student for so long, they’re unsure of how, or maybe even a little scared, to become more like the teacher. There are too many teachings pulling them in too many directions, all away from themselves. Hence, the mandate that no more teachings are allowed. I see that they’re full of enough knowledge, information, and inspiration, and now need to bridge the gap to action and incarnation. So we don’t read more stuff, we go inward, and we embody the existing stuff.
Listen, I’m not a great teacher for everything or everyone, to be sure. But I am highly skilled at teaching people how to close the inspiration gap. And doing that work, actively – that’s what will lead you into your life of true self-help discipleship and embodiment of who you’re meant to be.
Point being, we do a lot of looking for inspiration to be better, but maybe that’s not what you actually need. Maybe you’ve got more inspiration than you know what to do with. Maybe it’s time to do something about that. Close the gap, turn inspiration into action, create tangible change. The question isn’t what more you need to learn.
The question becomes: how can you close your inspiration gap?
I don’t know exactly what that looks like for you today, this month, this year. But if you’re seeking it, I’m happy to help you find it, from within. And if I had just one thing I’d gently suggest as you explore the path of self-help discipleship for yourself, it’d be this: step away from the feed, set down the book.
Follow less, be more.
If you’re looking to close your inspiration gap, let’s work together to figure out how. Schedule your free call with me to talk coaching below, or email me anytime to find out more. Remember, you can always sign up for weekly emails here.
