Dear One,
It’s OK. You’re okay. It’s so fucking much OK, in fact, that I’m just going to keep repeating it over and over again until you believe it.
I know everything feels not OK. But just think how OK so many things actually are. (Like YOU!)
You live in a house. A pretty decent little house. You have food to eat. Fancy food, when it comes down to it. Like, fresh vegetables and protein powder and shit that lot of people don’t even have access to. You have a ridiculously supportive partner who’s truly your person. You have enough money to make it. You have clothes to wear. You have multiple modes of transportation. And communication. You have a dog who keeps you warm and makes people smile on Zoom calls. You have a hilarious wildcat who constantly entertains. You have privilege, even if that feels not OK too.
You also have a healthy body to live in. One that takes you to all the places and picks up all the things. A body that allows you to move and go outside and breathe air, watch people, share smiles with strangers and friends. One day, it’ll even allow you to hug people again, and they’ll comment awkwardly about how aggressive your hugs are. That’s OK.
You’re OK.
Like, as a human being, you’re generally alright. Never all right, but not all wrong either. Stop thinking that, every day, all day. Enough. You’re OK. It’s OK.
It’s OK that shit feels bad. It’s OK that you’re fucking scared of fucking everything. It’s OK that you’re trying to protect yourself. It’s OK it’s not working. It’s OK that you feel like giving up, quitting, whatever. It’s OK if you choose to do that. Or, keep going. That’s OK too.
It’s OK that you don’t really know what you’re doing. It’s OK that you’re still trying to figure it out, just like everyone else, even if they won’t admit it. It’s OK that everything feels like a wildly painful and confusing existential crisis.
I know it feels like you have to do all the things all the time, but let’s be honest, that’s not what you’re about. And who does that actually help? It’s not helping you, it’s not who you are. Where did you get this harebrained idea anyway? When did you start believing the bullshit? Stop believing the bullshit. You don’t believe in bullshit. I know you don’t.
I mean, yeah, you’re an action-taker. You’re a do-er. But you’re the kind of Actioneer who not only makes up words like Actioneer, but only does what you actually care about, what actually matters. Not a bunch of frivolous crap for appearances or approval or likability or a vague idea of productivity. You’re not a robot. You’re a do-er of what you want.
Go back to doing that.
And don’t forget that sometimes doing something means doing nothing.
It’s OK to rest. It’s OK to take a break. It’s OK to relax. To listen. It’s even OK to ghost if you wanna. It’s OK to sit. Quit. Slow down. Take time off. Change. It’s OK to change.
You don’t have to go to every networking meeting. You don’t have to create a new funnel (fucking funnels). You don’t have to niche. You don’t have to scale. You actually don’t have to do any of this anymore.
You don’t have to take every class. Read every book. Show up to every workshop or protest. Make every call. Feel guilty about existing.
You don’t have to stop doing things your way in order to fit in. You don’t have to follow any rules, unless you feel like it. You don’t have to strive for sameness.
You don’t have to be who people expect you to be. Or do what people expect you to do.
You. Don’t. Have. To. Do. Anything.
And, you’ll still be OK. Because you are already OK. You’ll always be OK.
You do not only exist in the context of other people, their wants, their needs, their experiences, their cares. You can exist in the context of you alone. And dammit, that’s OK too.
I know you’re tired. It’s OK to be tired. When you’re tired, it’s OK to stop and recover. In fact, the only way to keep living, keep growing, is to stop and recover.
Basically, it’s OK that you want to do everything, and nothing. Because you can, without a doubt, do anything.
Believe that, because it’s not bullshit.
P.S. If someone you know could use a love letter, maybe you could forward this one to them, or send one of your own. You could also do this. If you want love letters like this in your inbox each week, get them here.
