A couple weeks ago, I connected with a friend and fellow coach to talk a little about business and a little about life. Actually, it was more like I shyly asked her for an hour of her time, and she graciously, fortunately, accepted. She probably sniffed out my desperation for the energy connection.
Hey, I’ve got no shame around recognizing and asking for help when I need it.
Luckily, I’ve got an incredible network of folks I can call on when I need some connection and big, strong, powerful, unapologetic, but also insightful, thoughtful, and compassionate energy. This person was exactly who I needed to tick all those boxes.
So, we started chatting, talking about how our days were going. She updated me on some personal work she’s doing, the huge transition in her business she’s making in the next few months. I got to avoid the real reason I asked her to catch up for a good twenty minutes. And then she finally asked, “So, what’s up?”
And I had no choice but to tell her. It was, after all, the whole point of scheduling this time together to connect. She knew I was going to make an ask. I sighed, and I answered the question.
What’s up, I told her, is that I’m really struggling with business stuff right now. I’m frustrated. I’m annoyed. I’m also confused AF. I’m questioning my purpose, the execution of that purpose. I’m trying to let go, be present, listen, allow for God and the Universe to call me forth for whatever I’m meant for in this life. I’m trying not to fight, but I’m also trying to accept that that might actually mean I need to quit. I’m comfortable with lots of not knowing, but I’m desperate at this point for one tiny morsel of certainty, clarity, direction.
I’ll spare you any more details, as I’m sure you get the point. It was a lament. And truly, my friend was a gracious and insightful listener – as all good friends and coaches are. Among other very thoughtful questions, the most poignant and piercing one she reflected back to me was this:
“Why are you feeling so jaded?”
I was floored, because frankly, I didn’t think I was feeling jaded. Or I didn’t grasp it. It sounded so…offensive to me when confronted with it. I didn’t have a great answer in the moment, but I kept coming back to it after we ended our call. Turns out, this assessment was spot on.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized – I am tired. I am fucking weary. Fed up. Cynical. Just done.
But, then I thought about it some more, deeply, honestly, and from many angles. As I did, I was able to actually answer the question and pinpoint why I was tired. What exactly was making me weary. What I was fed up with. Why I was feeling done. And none of it was what I thought, or even expected, I’d find. More importantly – nothing that had me feeling jaded was anything I couldn’t overcome to get to what I really wanted to feel.
That’s the key insight I want to share, because about 99.9% of us are jaded right now in some way. We’re tired, and it’s affecting our energy, and that’s affecting our time. That goes round and round in circles and affects our lives.
And rather than turn a one-time lament into a neverending season/year/decade from hell, we can figure it out and do something.
So, OK, I’ll continue with myself as a quick example. I felt frustrated with business growth (or lack thereof). That manifested as a general malaise that made me question my purpose and business ownership as a whole. When I identified and accepted I was tired, I pushed myself to determine what about and why. I learned it wasn’t my purpose or business ownership or even a lull, it was actually stuff like shady industry marketing practices, playing the comparison game, getting too caught up in numbers and financial goals as measures of my self-worth, and a general heap of stuff that’s out of my control.
That put into stark relief the fact that I’m still super fucking energized about coaching overall. I immediately felt renewed! I’m definitely still passionate about helping people to unravel all their fitness and body stories, supporting their journey toward acceptance. And I’m fully grounded in my purpose and mission to help women find their inner Dolly Parton through the self-discovery work of seeing and trusting themselves.
I believe in what I do, and I can separate and overcome all the extraneous crap I feel tired about in order to do it. I reflected on that too, and now I know what I can do, what my next steps are, and how to shift my energy and take back my damn time. (You won’t be surprised to hear that I’ve already veered off into needing to curb my time on LinkedIn.)
Are you feeling tired and fed up too?
OK, start to ask why. Pinpoint it. What you’re actually so done with. Name it. List it. Brainstorm and choose one action step that’ll help you move away from feeling jaded. See what else that process reveals. You never know what you’ll find until you actually start searching.
Maybe it’s not your job, or even your company. Maybe it’s the fact that your boss is a shit communicator. Cool, what can you do with that?
Maybe it’s not your actual kids, but the fact that there’s just too much housework or noise or meal prep. Alright, what’s one thing someone can do (doesn’t have to be you!) or one way to alleviate that logistics overload?
Maybe it’s not that you’re tired of feeling behind in life, but that you’re actually tired of taking low-level passive aggressive abuse from your parents about not living up to their expectations. Juicy. Where do you go from there?
Maybe you’re just tired of counting calories or not eating sugar or carbs or whatever. Hey, me too, there are other options. Can you check those out?
Maybe you’re tired of trying to force yourself to work out when you’d rather just read trashy novels and relax. Got it. Feel it. So maybe there’s another way to approach movement and self-care in your life that doesn’t feel like a drag or a guilt trip? (Hint: there is.)
Maybe, you’re actually just freaking tired, and the action is to take a dang nap, OK?!? Jeez.
Identifying, clarifying, and action-taking are incredible tools that can have a powerful effect on your energy and time. Participating in that process explicitly gives you a chance to choose, and renew, your focus in real and aligned ways. Simple, not easy. But sometimes, you gotta do a little work to get out of that cloud of sweeping jadedness.
It’s worth it. You are. So if you’re tired, think about why and think about what you’ll do about it. Because breaking through that cloud of jadedness means revealing the shining light of your wholehearted, reinvigorated, and downright zesty, energy-filled life.
And just like we love zesty ranch, we love zesty life.
If you’re ready to find your energy, schedule a call with me below to talk about coaching options. I’ll help you through this process. For more zesty emails each week, sign up now!