I’ve officially been off of social media for one week. Facebook, deleted. Instagram, shut downnnnnnn.
To head off the question: I feel fucking fantastic. I feel great. And I feel normal. I also feel a heck of a lot freer and lighter, truly. Like a third of my life has opened back up to me again after being outsourced for the last fifteen years.
Funny enough, I have had no fewer than a dozen people reach out to me in these last few days asking how it’s going, how I feel. Like something major has happened.
In a certain sense, maybe it has.
But what I’m actually feeling isn’t something major, but a quiet and steady sense of purpose, married with a whole lot more time, energy, and focus to execute it.
As I look at the last week or so, my life, my schedule, and my heart have been full.
I’ve facilitated two body confidence workshops.
I’ve read two excellent books.
I’ve picked up two new clients.
I’ve spent a morning catching up with a dear friend, one of my first real mentors in fitness.
I’ve volunteered my time as an alumna.
I’ve attended a fabulous workshop on courageous allyship.
I’ve done a crapload of self-reflection and coaching work I’ve been feeling too rushed to really dig into.
I’ve spent the afternoon exploring a great new trail with a great friend, and a great herd of big horn sheep.
I’ve attended two virtual networking events and a mastermind for solopreneurs.
I’ve connected with and coached all my incredible clients.
I’ve spent a lovely (and super safe) evening enjoying a dinner party and excellent conversation at the home of new friends here in Denver.
I’ve cried with joy and relief over a momentous election.
I’ve written to you.
I’ve sent about a hundred emails.
I’ve watched about a season and a half of Narcos with my husband, and nerded out with him about the real narcos and the real DEA.
I’ve slept, snuggled, walked, worked out, talked, listened, and yes, texted too.
I’ve felt more connected to myself, my life, and the people in it than I have in years.
What I have not done is waste a single second on something that stole my time and energy as much as social media has for the last five years, give or take.
What I have not done is stress out about crap that doesn’t matter. (I have, of course, stressed about stuff that does matter.)
I haven’t worried about what some random person would think of me. I haven’t agonized over likes or engagement. I haven’t had a rolling script of my next story or post running in my head. I haven’t freaked out about not being checked in or reposting the right thing. I also haven’t felt disconnected or uninformed.
I’ve been in my life, on purpose, present.
God, I look at that list of my week and I’m impressed with myself! No fucking way I would’ve done all that stuff in one week a year ago, even a few months ago. All I was really doing was a vague version of “working,” and a vague version of living, telling myself it was good. Turns out, I wasn’t working all that much, and I was for sure not living in the ways I wanted to be. It was definitely not good. I was not good.
And y’know, I look at that list, I feel how I feel today, and I think to myself, “WTF? Seriously, what in the actual fuck was I doing? And why? For whom?” Ugh.
Those answers are pretty glaring as I look at it today, and lie in a weird and disturbing combination of social instincts and cultural conditioning and capitalism. Blech. I mean, it’s hard enough to deal with those things outside of social media. Why make it harder?
From a practical standpoint, it holds up. As an example, I don’t end my day in a panic trying to post at the perfect time for maximum engagement, then head into my workout distracted with checking for likes (and then getting sucked into scrolling) in between every single set, or even while I’m in the middle of a Peloton class. I get those two hours completely back – one for work, one for myself. Two whole hours of a day, just by stepping away from social media.
Simplest example, but if I had a dollar for every person who’s ever told me (repeatedly) that they don’t have enough time or energy to do whatever it is they say they want to do, and then immediately pulled out their phone and scrolled Instagram, I would for sure be a few thousand dollars richer. (If you don’t believe me, set up the timer thing on your phone and check your screen time for the next week. Think about it. My screen time has been cut down to about a third of what it was already.)
I’m not arguing that we all have more time and blah blah blah. But what I am arguing is that we have a choice in how we utilize it.
Listen, this is a weirdly controversial and emotional thing, and I totally get that. Hell, I’ve been thinking about it and working through it for nearly two years! It’s super personal, and scrapping social media isn’t for everyone.
But, just…as you scroll along, consider the idea of, well, what if it is? What if social media wasn’t for you anymore?
What would your life look like if you were the one who decided it and not someone or something outside yourself living in your phone? What would it look like if you were out there doing it instead of documenting it? (I took only fourteen pictures in total last week. The week before? Fourteen gym selfies alone!)
A good friend and coach told me recently that I have a way of encouraging people who are in a shifting place to get to their new place. That just by being who and how I am, I inspire reflection around new ways of being in awareness, and curiosity about what they stand for and whether they’re living it.
Truth is, I wanted more of that for myself too. And that means less energy on social media, more energy on the things and people that really matter to me. More energy for myself, my clients and work, my community and relationships, and my friendships and marriage – in aligned ways, not influenced ways.
In just one week, every single bit of that is flourishing.
And maybe that’s major after all.
I assured you I would continue sharing the tidbits I used to post on social, and I will. Playlist of all the songs I would’ve shared on stories. Yummiest recipe I made last weekend. Event I’m speaking at next week – it’s free! For weekly updates, sign up for emails here.
If you want to chat about how you can bring more time, energy, and quiet, steady purpose into your life, email me or schedule a call below. Let’s make it happen.