What can you come back to?

what will you come back to | kourtney thomas

This December for me has probably been the most interesting December of my life. And we’re not even halfway through! Sheesh.

If you know me at all by now, you know two things: I’m a little woo and I most definitely trust my intuition and that of the Universe. And, I’m right in the thick of being highly focused on my business. Interestingly, these two things have come crashing together this month, at every single turn.

And because of it, I’m all over the place. People keep asking me – and I do believe they genuinely want to know – how I am, and I immediately respond something like, “Do you really want the answer?” Because one day I’m up, one day I’m a disaster, one day I’m calm and resolved, the next I’m questioning everything and wanting to quit.

It’s no coincidence, then, that my focus, my mantra, my continued compass for the month has been this:

Let go and trust.

And consequently, it’s no coincidence that the Universe keeps challenging the shit out of me to remember it.

This focus came into my awareness early in the month as I did some guided journaling in my Many Moons book. But it really sharpened for me when I was tasked in my social media content calendar to share my goal for December. All I could think was that I don’t have a goal. And honestly, I don’t really. Things in my life are pretty great, I’m generally happy, and I don’t like rigid things or stuff that I just say because I’m supposed to have a goal to “hustle” about.

As I thought more about it and tried on potential goals to see how they felt, the only thing that felt right was letting go. Letting go of expectations, of outcomes, of results. Letting go of external validation, of material things, of requirements. Letting go of anxiety and worry, especially around work and money.

And I will tell you, that is not something that comes naturally to me. Letting go of anything is a huge challenge for me, whether it’s a concert ticket stub or a friendship I’ve had for years. So putting it out there was big, and I felt good about it, aligned with it. But I’m not surprised I quickly let it slip.

But then, it came right back into my sphere when I went to a New Moon circle last week. Turns out the astrology of this moon is all about being present, being open, and being adventurous. Releasing judgment, releasing expectations, trusting everything is going to work out how it’s meant to.

Hello, that is exactly let go and trust. I was astounded. And I was smirking like crazy as we spent ten minutes writing down our intentions for the month and they just flowed right out of me. Like, how much better could this align?!

So again, I go home all excited that this was big. And then, I let it slip.

Just a few days later, I attended a new (to me) coworking space and a strategy session meeting. A group of people who totally didn’t know me or my business began dissecting it, giving me advice, directing me on what I should be doing to meet my goals. Naturally, I freaked out and started internalizing all of this. OMG, I’m doing everything wrong! I should change all of this right away! I’m not doing enough! WHO IS MY CUSTOMER PERSONA?!?!?!?

I was a total mess for 24 hours. Next morning, I met with a new connection who was also at the New Moon circle, and she immediately asked me how my intention was going. I looked right at her and said, “You know, it’s fucking not. Of course it’s not.”

And I shared with her the entire story of the previous day, along with the fact that I had to consciously remind myself after it was over that my entire plan was to let go and trust. She graciously smiled and told me, “The Universe will test you all along the way. That’s why we set the intentions to come back to.”

She couldn’t have been more right.

It’s not at all about you letting go and trusting this month. My priority and my intention is different than yours. Only you know what you need for yourself right now. But it is about knowing that for yourself.

What do you need this month? What is your priority? What can you come back to?

Because there is always some element of this challenge of self at play. And we are always going to be tested, forever, in all kinds of different situations, interactions, and areas of our lives – as much as that totally stinks sometimes. The biggest lesson here is that if you don’t have something to come back to, if you don’t have a compass, a center, a focus that’s yours and only yours, every test will lead you astray.

If you want to grow from each test, you have to know what you’re growing for and why.

Remember, this thing you can come back to is something that will help guide your choices when you’re faced with the tests. That’s a very important guidepost to have.

We’re hot and heavy in a wild time of year. Many of us are distracted, not as present as we might like to be. We’re reflecting on the past year, already forward thinking to the New Year. And while I’m not pushing you to add another thing to your list this month, I am proposing you consider your priorities a little more deeply, even in this wild time of year. Or maybe, even if you set it aside for now, you still prime yourself in those fleeting, available moments to think about this a little differently when you’re ready.

What is it you’ll come back to?

Interested in a little help with this? Let me know. I’m always happy to chat about your intentions. And for weekly notes on everything you’re growing for, sign up here.

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