Your bathroom mirror is a liar.

Before we went to Aruba, I got pretty caught up in thinking I needed to change something about my body. Regardless of the fact that I had been consistently working hard for the last four months (try the last year), I still stood in front of my bathroom mirror and sighed every morning. It was like I just wasn’t quite there – wherever there is.

A big part of it was that I got a DEXA scan done a few weeks before we left, and it particularly impacted me. I had done hydrostatic weighing done a few years previous, so I had a number in my head, given my behaviors and changes in the last three years. But the DEXA surprised me even more. It was completely unforgiving (read: accurate), and I thought I needed to be disappointed in myself and my progress in the last few years. I’ll admit – I thought I needed to diet.

But as you already read, I came to terms with that. I shook myself out of the negative mindset and went about my business. It’s OK not to have a goal. It’s OK to keep doing exactly what you’re doing. It’s OK to be happy right where you are.

After that back and forth with my coaches, I really was feeling a lot better. (Always good to have a sounding board for this stuff.) I went to Aruba thinking about how cute I was going to look in my new swimsuit, not worrying about too much else. (Well, I was also thinking about what kinds of desserts I’d find every night…have you ever eaten chocolate risotto?!? OMG it’s one of the best desserts I’ve ever had in my life.)

And when we got there? I felt like a million bucks. I felt strong, totally jacked and huge, lean as I wanted to be, and a happy, relaxed, and proud version of myself. For all the ideas I had in my head of the body I wanted, the one I was working so hard for in the gym and the kitchen, I realized when I reviewed all of our fun cell phone pictures at the end of the day – I have that body.

And GD that bathroom mirror.

It took getting out of my everyday environment, in this case, really far out of it, to see that strength and awesomeness. To find any sort of satisfaction in myself and what I had been doing. But I found it, and I’m keeping it.

And it doesn’t matter what those ideas you have in your head actually are. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have any ideas at all. I have a friend who has a very different body than mine who had a similar experience of getting out of her everyday environment (she moved to Paris!) and finding so much love and happiness and strength and satisfaction in her body as it is today. No more nitpicking, no more striving.

So I wrote you (and me) a letter. The kind to pull out on those days. I hope you’ll read it. I hope you’ll think about it. And I hope you’ll remember your awesomeness, no matter where you are.

Your bathroom mirror is a liar.

So is the one on top of your dresser.

And the one on the back of your closet door.

Oh, and those progress photos and selfies you take in front of your toilet are a complete fabrication too.

And it’s not because you don’t look amazing. It’s actually because the complete opposite.

Your body is incredible. And these everyday spaces do a really great job of distracting you from that fact.

Yes, fact.

That mirror in your house makes it an everyday job to remind you that oh, don’t you think you’re looking a little bloated today? And that cellulite is really standing out this morning. And ugh, that piece of cake yesterday ruined all your hard work and you better get on the treadmill to fix it.

And those pictures make a periodic appointment with your sense of oh, I’m better now than I was six weeks ago! Or, well, I’m so much worse now and I used to look better. Or even more unfathomable, I’m exactly the same.

These everyday reflections provide us with small, dark spaces to get really close, closer than we ever would anywhere else, and pick apart every ounce of our physical being.

What a waste.

You want to know the truth? The truth is out there.

It’s in your muddy boots and backpack, hiking up a mountain or down a trail.

It’s in your leathers cruising down the back roads.

It’s in your car with the windows rolled down and the wind in your hair.

It’s in your tourist shorts and fanny pack exploring a new city.

It’s in your cheeky bikini, soaking up rays on a boat in the ocean.

What I’m saying is, it’s easy, so easy, to get stuck in your head. To look at the same scene every morning, every night, finding every perceived flaw, focusing on every perceived negative, being hypercritical of every little detail – your routine, your body parts, your progress, your lack thereof.

And what else I’m saying is, while it’s harder to creep out of your bubble, it’s worth a try.

Go out there. Do the things you love. Go to the places that make you feel alive. Wear the things that make you feel powerful or beautiful or strong or sexy, or however you want to feel. Or do something new, or daring, for you.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.


Open your eyes and enjoy.

Outside of the bathroom mirror, your incredible body will take the stage. Out in the wild, you will appreciate your awesomeness so, so much more. Suddenly, you’ll see yourself in a whole new light.

Then remember that sight, that light. Remember, when you return to your bathroom mirror, that you in the wild in all your furious glory is the exact same you standing here in your faded old underwear.

And that you is amazing.

your body is amazing | kourtney thomas

For more reminders of your amazing body, think about hanging out with me on email a couple of times a week. You can do it here.

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