But what if I don’t want a goal?

i don't want a goal | kourtney thomas

For the past couple of months, I’ve been waffling a bit about my physical goals.

More accurately, I haven’t really had any.

I’m consistent as hell, in the gym doing strength workouts four days a week, cardio a few more days. Always movement, and always muscles – for me.

But beyond that, no specific goal, no specific focus. For the most part, that was exactly what I wanted – the freedom to do what I want and feel good in my body. And it has worked really well for nearly a year.

Then, as so often happens, external influence seeped in and broke through the little cracks in my confidence. “Used to” popped up. “I have to wear a swimsuit soon” popped up. “New Year 12-week program before and after” photos popped up. And along with that, a whole lot of questions popped up.

Should I get more focused? Should I lose some fat? Should I be doing more or different workouts? Should I adjust my diet? Am I crazy?

The surprising thing about it boiled down to feeling really great about the inner work I have done around my conditioning and body image. I am in better touch with my body and what makes up my self-image than ever before. That makes me very satisfied with how I look, and how I move and perform, and how I generally show up in the world. But still, I’m not immune to the world we live in, so old thoughts and influences sometimes creep in: Yes, I look good, but could I look better?

My coaches knew I was waffling. We talked through it. They gently nudged me to think about getting really fucking focused for a short period of time, just because I can. Kind of force me out of my indecision. I thought about it and agreed. Four weeks of hyper-focus, then back to general movement and muscles.

I slept on it, and then, I reconsidered.

I decided it was just not something I wanted to do. The timing is not right to make it happen, and forcing it would only piss me off. At myself, and my coaches. (We’ve already established I don’t do well when I’m trying to force stuff.) So, I revisited, had more conversation, and agreed to a few more weeks at 80%, doing the best that I can and enjoying the weather and the gym. That will get me recharged and ready to crush for a short-term bout, which I do see the value in.

Then? It’s back to freedom.

I’m happy in my body. (Yes! Seriously!) I’m happy with regular, fun movement that makes me feel good and strong and accomplished. What I’ve learned, for myself, is that I don’t need a specific goal. I don’t need a competition. I don’t need a weight or leanness or strength target. I’m perfectly happy to stick with exactly what works for me, consistently – which can usually be described as whatever I damn well feel like within the realm of bodybuilding and endurance running. It can’t always be constant striving, and I know better than to let outside forces influence that. I find freedom in structure, but just the right amount of structure, at the levels that I set.

Every so often, sure, I’m up for a targeted focus. It keeps me fresh. But you can bet that I’ll be the one to determine exactly when and how that’s going to happen. It’s always on my terms.

So hey, if you’re feeling indecisive about goals right now, or like you don’t care to get super-focused, know that that’s perfectly fine. In fact, it’s better than fine, and can be a totally cool strategy to learn more about what you want for yourself over time. No one says you have to be working toward something specific all the time, or even part of the time. A huge part of having a whole lot more peace in your body is the freedom to find the ways that you can keep it moving, the things that you really love and feel positive about, on an everyday basis.

The goal is not the catalyst. The movement is.

Want more support and conversation around movement as a catalyst? You got it, every week, right here.

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